當孩子逐漸長大：公平是否代表一視同仁？從打機、手機管理到培養自主能力的反思

 當孩子逐漸長大：公平是否代表一視同仁？從打機、手機管理到培養自主能力的反思

作為兩個孩子的爸爸，隨着他們逐漸長大，我發現教養孩子的方式也需要不斷調整。

以前，很多事情都比較簡單。父母訂立規則，孩子跟着做。例如每天可以打機多久、甚麼時候要停止使用手機、甚麼時間需要溫習等。

我一直相信，父母對孩子應該保持一致（Consistency）。尤其家裏有兩個孩子，我希望他們感受到公平，不會覺得爸爸偏心。

但最近幾次家庭會議，以及觀察兩個孩子使用電子產品的習慣，令我開始反思：

當孩子的年齡、成熟程度和自律能力都不同，我們是否仍然應該用同一套規則來管理他們？

一、哥哥的打機問題：有能力自律，卻未必能控制娛樂時間

哥哥已經進入中學較高年級，開始為 GCSE 作準備。

在學業方面，他其實有一定的自我管理能力。他會自行安排溫習，也會參考學校提供的預期成績（Expected Grades）及目前表現，了解自己的強項和弱項。

例如，他知道自己的英文和西班牙文比較弱，甚至主動提出可能需要補習。

這讓我看到，他並不是一個完全缺乏自律或上進心的孩子。

然而，打機卻是另一回事。

平日放學回家已經比較晚，我們一般容許他打機約一個半至兩小時。假日他則希望可以打四小時。有時即使已經訂立時間限制，他仍然會超時。

目前，我會透過 Windows 的時間限制功能，為他的遊戲電腦設定上限。

這令我開始思考：

既然他已經能夠自行安排溫習，為甚麼我仍然需要替他決定甚麼時候可以打機？

我是否應該開始將部分決定權交還給他，讓他學習自己管理時間，而不是一直依賴爸爸提醒？

二、妹妹的手機問題：YouTube Shorts 與難以停止的滑動

妹妹的情況卻很不一樣。

哥哥平時很少使用手機，甚至經常把手機放在一旁。但妹妹對手機的興趣明顯較大，尤其是 YouTube Shorts。

短影片一段接一段，內容不斷更新，令人很容易在不知不覺間花上大量時間。

我們目前有一個規定：妹妹需要在晚上九點將手機交給父母保管。

然而，我們發現她有時會偷偷使用另一部沒有設定限制的手機，繼續觀看 YouTube Shorts。

此外，她也開始透過 Messenger 等通訊工具與同學聊天。

這帶來另一個難題：

一方面，我們不希望她過度沉迷手機；另一方面，我們也明白，與朋友保持聯絡是孩子成長和建立社交關係的一部分。

我們需要管理的，究竟是使用電子產品的時間，還是孩子使用電子產品的方式？

我逐漸認為，不能將所有 Screen Time 一概而論。

用電腦溫習、與朋友聊天、觀看短影片和打機，雖然都涉及螢幕，但目的、價值和風險並不相同。

三、公平，不一定代表兩個孩子有相同的規則

這次反思中，我得到一個很重要的提醒：

Fairness doesn’t always mean treating everyone the same.

公平，不一定代表每個人都受到完全相同的對待。

真正的公平，是考慮每個孩子的年齡、成熟程度、需要和責任感，給予合適的自由與界線。

例如，哥哥平時很少使用手機，也沒有明顯過度使用的問題，因此我們沒有要求他晚上交出手機。

妹妹則因為仍然需要學習如何控制手機使用，所以我們暫時保留晚上九點交手機的安排。

這並不代表我們偏心哥哥。

相反，我們希望兩個孩子都明白：隨着他們逐漸成熟，能夠展示自我管理能力，便可以獲得更多自主權。

不過，我也提醒自己，不能經常用哥哥的表現來比較妹妹。

每個孩子的成長步伐不同，所面對的誘惑和挑戰也不同。

我們需要保持一致的，是背後的教養原則，而不是所有細節上的規則。

四、從控制孩子，轉向培養孩子的自我管理能力

我開始意識到，父母真正的目標，不應該是永遠替孩子管理時間。

如果孩子到了十六七歲，仍然需要父母每天提醒甚麼時候停止打機、甚麼時候溫習，那麼即使他一直遵守規則，也未必代表他真正學會自律。

真正的自律，是當父母不在身邊時，孩子仍然能夠作出負責任的選擇。

因此，我希望逐步改變自己的角色。

從以前的 Supervisor（監督者），慢慢轉變為 Coach（教練）。

對哥哥而言，我可以與他協商打機時間的上限，但讓他自己安排何時使用。

對妹妹而言，我們仍然需要較多的限制和提醒，但也應該讓她參與討論規則，並逐步學習自我管理。

自由不需要一下子全部給予，也不應該因為一次失誤就全部收回。

我更希望透過不斷嘗試、檢討和調整，幫助孩子慢慢建立判斷力。

五、孩子失去學習動力，是否一定需要父母推一把？

最近另一件令我反思的事情，是哥哥的鋼琴學習。

他以前曾經希望選修 GCSE Music，因此對學琴比較積極，甚至會主動練習。

但後來，他認為 GCSE Music 要取得高分並不容易，加上對其他科目更有興趣，最終沒有選修音樂。

隨着這個目標消失，他練琴的動力似乎也下降了。

距離 Grade 3 鋼琴考試只有幾個星期，他表示自己的目標只是 Pass。

作為爸爸，我心裏難免覺得可惜。

因為我相信他有能力爭取 Merit，甚至取得更好的成績。

但我也開始問自己：

究竟我希望他取得好成績，是因為這是他的目標，還是因為我不想看到他的潛能被浪費？

這兩者其實有很大分別。

孩子逐漸長大，開始發展自己的興趣和優先次序。

他可能不再希望將大量時間投放在鋼琴，卻願意為自己重視的 GCSE 科目努力。

這未必代表他失去上進心，而可能是他開始學習取捨。

我仍然認為，既然已經報名參加考試，就應該認真準備，完成自己的承諾。

但我也需要學習接受：孩子未必需要在每一件事情上，都追求父母心目中的最高標準。

六、家庭會議：讓孩子參與制定規則

我們家一直有開家庭會議的習慣。

以前，家庭會議可能比較着重父母向孩子解釋規則。

但現在，我希望家庭會議可以逐漸成為雙向溝通的平台。

例如，討論打機時間時，不只是爸爸宣布每天可以玩多久，而是問：

「你認為多少時間才算合理？」

「如果你想在假日打四小時機，會怎樣安排溫習、運動、家庭時間和休息？」

「如果你經常超時，有甚麼方法可以幫助自己準時停止？」

對妹妹，我也希望了解：

「為甚麼 YouTube Shorts 對你這麼吸引？」

「你覺得甚麼時候最難停下來？」

「我們可以怎樣幫助你，既可以享受手機，又不會影響其他生活？」

我相信，當孩子有機會參與討論，他們會更容易理解規則背後的原因。

當然，參與討論不代表孩子可以決定所有事情。涉及睡眠、安全、私隱和健康等問題，父母仍然需要設立清晰的界線。

七、Consistency 的真正意義

回顧整個討論，我對 Consistency 有了新的理解。

以前，我比較着重兩個孩子是否遵守相同規則。

現在，我開始認為，父母真正需要保持一致的，是以下幾個原則：

1. Responsibility（責任）：自由需要配合責任，孩子需要學習履行承諾。
2. Trust（信任）：當孩子展現自律能力，父母應該逐步增加自主權。
3. Boundaries（界線）：即使給予自由，睡眠、安全及健康仍然需要受到保障。
4. Communication（溝通）：規則應該可以討論、檢討和調整，而不只是單方面命令。
5. Respect（尊重）：尊重孩子逐漸形成的興趣、目標和個性，不必事事按照父母的期望發展。

我也提醒自己，不要將所有事情都變成成績或獎勵制度。

孩子值得被信任，不只是因為他們考到好成績；孩子偶爾犯錯，也不代表他們不值得擁有自主權。

結語：父母也需要學習放手

作為父母，我們總希望孩子能夠發揮潛能，建立良好習慣，避免沉迷電子產品。

但隨着孩子長大，我們也需要面對一個現實：

我們不可能永遠替孩子作決定，也不應該永遠替他們作決定。

從限制打機時間、管理手機，到選擇學科、學習樂器，這些日常小事，其實都是孩子學習獨立的機會。

我們需要做的，可能不是不斷增加規則，而是逐步幫助他們建立能力，讓他們有一天不再需要依靠這些規則。

這對孩子是一個學習過程，對父母同樣如此。

我仍然在摸索當中，也不認為自己已經找到最好的方法。

但有一句話，我希望自己可以記住：

「教養孩子，不只是教他們如何遵守父母訂立的規則，更是幫助他們在沒有父母監督時，仍然懂得作出明智的選擇。」

也想聽聽其他家長的經驗：當孩子進入青春期，你們會如何在電子產品使用、學習責任和自主權之間取得平衡？

Weekly Reflection – Week 18 Sep to 15 Oct 2025 每週反思 – 2025年9月18日 至 10月15日

 

Weekly Reflection (18 Sept – 15 Oct 2025)

Career Transition and Gratitude / 職業轉折與感恩

This period marked an important transition from the long job search journey to a new chapter of professional stability and personal grounding. After months of preparation, interviews, and reflection, I reached the milestone of onboarding with American Express, closing one demanding but formative phase of my career path. It reminded me that perseverance, adaptability, and authenticity eventually align the right opportunity at the right time. I am deeply grateful to the many friends, mentors, and family members who supported and encouraged me through this period — their guidance, patience, and faith made the journey far less lonely and far more meaningful.
這段時間標誌著我從漫長的求職旅程，踏入職業穩定與內心沉澱的新階段。經過數月的準備、面試與反思，我終於達成 加入美國運通（American Express） 的里程碑，結束了一段既艱難又具啟發性的歷程。這提醒我，毅力、靈活與真誠最終能引領我們找到合適的機會。我深深感激這段期間支持我的朋友、導師與家人——他們的指導、耐心與信任，令這段旅程不再孤單，更添意義。

Personal Growth and Communication Skills / 個人成長與溝通能力提升

Looking back, this job search period also helped me grow in unexpected ways. I became more confident in speaking English and in public communication, fixing some long-standing weaknesses in expressing ideas clearly and assertively. I also learned how to use AI more effectively, discovering the patterns and techniques to make collaboration with AI tools both productive and creative.
回望這段求職歷程，它讓我在意想不到的方面得以成長。我變得更有信心去 使用英語溝通，並在 公開表達 上有明顯提升，改善了以往在自信與清晰表達上的弱點。同時，我學會了更有效地 運用人工智能工具，掌握與 AI 協作的節奏與方法，使工作變得更具創意與效率。

Volunteering and Community Engagement / 義工與社區參與

Volunteering work also resumed its rhythm with Mark R’s return to Freshwater Foundation (FF). I joined a meeting at a community hall with the volunteers from BETA, seeing how much progress and energy had built up during recent months. The sense of continuity and shared mission gave me renewed motivation to keep supporting these groups in their impact journeys.
隨著 Mark R 回歸 Freshwater Foundation（FF），義工工作再次步入正軌。我參加了在社區禮堂舉行的 BETA 義工會議，看到過去數月的進展與活力，讓我深受鼓舞，也重新激發了繼續支持這些社區項目的熱情。

Church Consulting and Ministry Work / 教會顧問與事工發展

At church, several meaningful milestones were reached. I attended a church consulting conference in London hosted by a theology school from Hong Kong, which gave me valuable insight into ministry transformation and digital engagement. I also set up the operations for preparing Sunday worship slides, using AI to assist in automation and design. In September, our team successfully recruited two new volunteers to help with the worship PowerPoint preparation — a great step toward sustainability and shared ownership.
在教會事工上，我也經歷了數個重要的里程碑。我參加了由香港神學院在倫敦舉辦的 教會顧問與事工發展研討會，獲得了對教會轉型及數碼參與的深刻啟發。我亦建立了 主日崇拜投影片的製作流程，並運用 AI 協助自動化與設計工作。在九月，團隊成功 招募了兩位新義工 協助崇拜投影片製作，為團隊的可持續發展奠下穩固基礎。

Church Website Revamp Project / 教會網站重建項目

Another major highlight was the church website revamp project. After months of groundwork and goodwill built through the worship slides work, we officially started the initiative and recruited four new team members (plus transferring two helpers from the Blue Team). With support from other volunteers, we are in good shape to begin this journey. This marks the start of a more structured digital transformation for the church.
另一項重要里程碑是 教會網站重建計劃。經過數月的基礎工作與團隊信任的累積，我們正式展開項目，並 招募了四位新成員（同時從 Blue Team 調派兩位義工）。在眾多義工的支持下，團隊現已準備就緒，正式啟程，為教會的數碼化轉型踏出關鍵一步。

Family Milestones and Togetherness / 家庭里程碑與相聚時光

Family life also brought several joyful milestones. My cousins (the twins) began their new chapters at UCL and Oxford, which made the whole family proud. Aunt Ruby and Uncle Dirk visited the UK, and we had meaningful time together — including joining a 10km run at Regent’s Park. I ran slightly slower than expected (1:00:30) and behind Uncle Dirk (who is retired), which became a light-hearted reminder that fitness needs ongoing discipline. It also sparked a genuine eagerness to train myself up again.
家庭生活中也有不少喜悅的時刻。我的 雙胞胎表妹 分別展開了在 倫敦大學學院與牛津大學 的新篇章，讓全家倍感驕傲。Ruby 姑姐與 Dirk 姑丈 來英探訪，我們共度了許多美好時光，並一同參加了 攝政公園 10 公里跑步活動。雖然我以 1 小時 0 分 30 秒 完成，比預期稍慢，也落後已退休的姑丈，但這成為一個輕鬆的提醒——體能需要長期培養，也激發了我重新訓練的決心。

Children’s Growth and Achievements / 子女成長與成就

At home, both children continued to grow in their own ways. Joshua registered for two chess competitions, showing not only enthusiasm but also a determination to improve. I hope this inner fire of learning continues to grow and glow. Amber has been active in her netball matches, performing so well that she was voted Most Valued Player by another school’s team — a lovely surprise and recognition of her team spirit and skill. We also submitted her secondary school application, hoping she can join her brother’s school and continue growing in a supportive environment.
在家中，兩位孩子都在不同方面不斷成長。Joshua 報名參加了兩場國際象棋比賽，展現出學習熱誠與不斷進步的決心，我希望這股學習的熱火能繼續延伸。Amber 則在 投球（Netball）比賽 中表現出色，並被對方學校選為 最有價值球員（MVP），這是對她團隊精神與努力的美好肯定。我們亦已為她提交 中學申請表，期望她能與哥哥就讀同一所學校，在良好的環境中繼續成長。

Health and Well-being / 健康與生活平衡

In physical fitness, the 10km run revealed how easily routine slips when priorities shift. I realised that maintaining a baseline of health and stamina is as important as any professional milestone.
在體能方面，這次 10 公里跑讓我深刻體會到，當生活重心轉移時，習慣多麼容易鬆懈。我明白到保持 基本健康與體能 與職業成就同樣重要。

Health has also become a growing focus for our family. My wife recently experienced foot and joint pain, which thankfully eased after a week, but it served as a good reminder that our health needs consistent care and management as we both grow older.
健康亦漸漸成為我們家庭的重要課題。太太最近曾出現 腳部與關節痛症，幸好一週後逐漸康復，這事件提醒我們，隨著年齡增長，更需 持續關注與管理身體狀況。

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Lessons Learned / 經驗反思

• Career growth is not linear 職業發展並非直線 — periods of uncertainty often produce deeper clarity and resilience.

• Trust the process, not the pace 信任過程，而非速度 — persistence, even in silence, builds long-term momentum.

• Leadership is about continuity 領導是持續的力量 — whether in FF, church, or work, showing up consistently matters more than speed.

• Balance requires boundaries 平衡需要界限 — saying no or slowing down at the right time is part of sustainable commitment.

• Health and self-discipline 健康與自律 — are integral to confidence and energy; the 10km run and family reminders reaffirmed this truth.

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Gratitude and Acknowledgements / 感恩與致謝

As this chapter closes, I feel deeply thankful for the many people who journeyed with me through the job search and personal transitions. From mentors and ex-colleagues who offered advice and encouragement, to friends and family who stood by me with patience and faith, every gesture made a real difference. I am also grateful for the opportunities to serve — at Freshwater Foundation, in church ministries, and within the community — all of which reminded me that growth is most meaningful when shared. Their kindness and trust continue to inspire me to give back, lead with humility, and walk forward with gratitude. Below are the list of people I would like to thank:
隨著這一章的結束，我衷心感謝在求職與轉折過程中一路同行的人。從給予意見與鼓勵的導師與前同事，到始終陪伴我的家人與朋友，每一份支持都帶來深遠影響。我同時感恩有機會在 Freshwater Foundation、教會事工及社區中服侍，讓我體會成長的真正意義在於分享。他們的信任與善意，激勵我繼續以謙卑的心回饋社群，懷著感恩的腳步前行。以下是我特別想致謝的人：

• My wife and two kids / 太太與兩位孩子

• Parents and parents-in-law / 父母與岳父母

• Aunt Jane’s family / Jane 姨一家

• Pastor Fu and his wife / 傅牧師與師母

• Edmond and his wife / Edmond 伉儷

• Joanna and Eric / Joanna 與 Eric

• Eva and Simon / Eva 與 Simon

• Derek L / Derek L

• CM K / CM K

• Mark R / Mark R

• Louise B / Louise B

• Ivan and his wife (HL) / Ivan 伉儷

• ...and many more / 以及更多默默支持我的朋友

(Prepared by AI and edited by Jeff on 15/Oct/2025)

Weekly Reflection – Week 6 Sep to 17 Sep 2025 每週反思 – 2025年9月6日 至 9月17日

 

Weekly Reflection (6 Sept – 17 Sept 2025)

The past ten days have been a mixture of job search intensity, community commitments, family life, and church fellowship. Writing this reflection helps me trace the threads together — to see how each area, in its own way, is shaping me.

過去十天充滿了求職的緊張、社區的參與、家庭的點滴，還有教會的團契。寫下這些反思，讓我看到各方面之間的連繫 —— 每一部分都在塑造我。

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Career & Job Search

I put steady effort into applications this week, tailoring my CV for roles at Barings, BCG, NTT DATA, Robert Walters, and Capgemini. Some of these roles stretch me to reframe my experience — especially around governance frameworks and product ownership. The Amex interview reflections are still fresh in my mind; I’m learning that when interviewers recap or expand on my answers, it’s not a signal that I failed, but a chance to engage further and show flexibility.

I also thought about the UK job market for accountants after helping a friend explore returner options. It reminded me again how competitive things are, and how much emphasis employers place on recent, directly relevant experience — something I’ve also been wrestling with in my own search.

職涯與求職

這個星期我繼續努力投遞申請，調整履歷去配合 Barings、BCG、NTT DATA、Robert Walters、Capgemini 等公司的職位。有些崗位挑戰我需要重新定位自己的經驗，特別是在治理框架和產品管理方面。對 Amex 面試的反思仍然歷歷在目，我學到當面試官重述或補充我的回答時，不一定代表我答得不好，而是給我一個機會去延伸對話，表現出彈性。

同時，我亦幫朋友研究會計師重返職場的選項，讓我再次體會到英國職場競爭激烈，僱主很看重最近、直接相關的經驗 —— 這也是我自己在求職過程中面對的挑戰。

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Community Engagement

Freshwater Foundation work continued with a number of calls and preparations: Heston in the Community, Food with Love, and Elevate Community Productions. Each group has different needs — some seek grants, others sponsorship, others guidance on structure. I’ve been reflecting on my role as a “catalyst” rather than a fixer, and how to keep the first calls focused on discovery, not qualification. Mark’s style often comes to mind as a benchmark.

社區參與

在 Freshwater Foundation 的工作仍在繼續，包括與 Heston in the Community、Food with Love 和 Elevate Community Productions 的多個會議和準備。每個團體的需要都不一樣 —— 有些尋求資助，有些希望找贊助，亦有些需要架構上的指導。我反思自己更應該像一個「催化劑」而不是解決者，第一次會談應該專注在探索，而不是急於判斷。Mark 的帶領方式常常成為我的參考。

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Family & Personal Life

On the family side, there have been lighter but meaningful moments: checking school matters, advising my wife how to use AI to prepare bible classes, and trimming the garden tree became a small but satisfying project too.

I’m also very happy that my son has joined some inter-school chess competitions. It’s encouraging to see him stepping out, not only enjoying the game but also representing himself and his school in a wider arena. These small steps of growth remind me how important it is to support and celebrate each stage of our children’s journey.

I’ve also been thinking about how to better communicate with my parents’ generation — especially around faith. Understanding the worldview (“三觀”) of the older generation is not easy, but it’s an important step for me as I consider how to share the gospel with my family overseas.

家庭與生活

在家庭方面，有一些輕鬆卻很有意義的時刻：處理孩子學校的事情、指導太太如何用 AI 準備聖經課堂，以及修剪花園的樹木 —— 這些都帶來一份簡單的滿足感。

我特別開心的是，兒子參加了校際象棋比賽。他不單止享受下棋的樂趣，還踏出一步，代表自己和學校在更大的平台上比賽。這些小小的成長步伐提醒我，要用心支持和欣賞孩子生命中的每個階段。

另外，我也常常思考如何與父母那一代更好地溝通，尤其是在信仰方面。明白上一代的「三觀」並不容易，但這是我必須走的一步，好讓我能夠更有效地與家人分享福音。

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Faith & Church

This period also involved preparing for church service on 28 Sept — drafting the order of service, selecting hymns, checking copyright issues, and preparing WhatsApp messages.

Another area on my mind has been our church website. I’ve started thinking about how to bring in more people to help with the revamp — not just to spread the workload, but also to build shared ownership. Beyond the technical side, I see this as a ministry opportunity: training others, giving them a chance to serve, and making sure the church has a sustainable way to manage content and costs in the long run.

Last Saturday, we also hosted a cell group gathering at my home, with 16 people joining. We sang hymns together and shared a time of prayer. It was a very special moment for me — not just for the fellowship, but for the sense of God’s presence in our midst.

信仰與教會

這段時間我也在準備 9 月 28 日的教會崇拜 —— 安排程序、選詩歌、處理版權事宜，以及準備 WhatsApp message。

另一件在我心裡的事是教會網站。我開始思考如何邀請更多弟兄姊妹參與改版，不只是分擔工作，還能建立共同的歸屬感。除了技術層面之外，我更看見這是一個事奉的機會：訓練他人、給予服事的空間，並確保教會能有長遠而可持續的網站管理模式。

上星期六，我家亦舉辦了一次細胞小組聚會，有 16 位弟兄姊妹參加。我們一起唱詩歌、一起禱告。這一刻對我非常珍貴 —— 不單是因為團契，更因為真切感受到神的同在。

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Personal Growth

One area I keep revisiting is my communication style. From job interviews to community meetings, I notice my tendency to over-explain or use filler words. I’ve been practicing more concise “soundbites” and smoother English phrasing. Even small things, like how to express myself politely in calls, have become learning opportunities.

個人成長

我不斷反思自己的表達方式。無論是面試還是社區會議，我常常有解釋過多或使用語氣詞的習慣。我一直在練習更簡潔的「重點句」，以及更流暢的英文表達。就連一些細節，例如如何在電話裡更有禮貌地表達，也成為我的學習機會。

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Closing Thoughts

Looking back, this period has been busy but fruitful. I’m learning to juggle career pressures, community roles, family needs, and spiritual service — and to see them not as competing demands, but as interconnected parts of my journey. My prayer is to stay faithful in small things, courageous in bigger steps, and attentive to God’s quiet presence in the midst of it all.

總結

回望這段日子，雖然忙碌，但也很充實。我在學習如何兼顧職涯、社區、家庭和教會的不同角色，並且看到它們並不是互相競爭，而是共同組成我成長旅程的一部分。我的禱告是：在小事上忠心，在大事上勇敢，並在一切當中聆聽神那微小卻真實的聲音。

(Prepared by AI and edited by Jeff on 23/Sep/2025)

Weekly Reflection – Week 6 Aug to 5 Sep 2025 每週反思 – 2025年8月6日 至 9月5日

📌 第1週：8月6日 – 8月10日

今個星期最重要嘅經歷，就係外父外母結束英國之行，喺8月10號搭飛機返香港。佢哋逗留嘅日子雖然唔長，但非常充實。雖然計劃中去法國或者其他歐洲地方未能成行，但同小朋友一齊出遊，去劍橋、牛津同埋附近嘅景點，已經令佢哋覺得好滿足。小朋友亦因為有祖父母陪伴而特別開心，留下好多難忘嘅回憶。作為父母，我心裡希望下次佢哋再嚟，可以見證小朋友更健康快樂嘅成長，更深一層嘅盼望係佢哋能夠決志信耶穌，得到從主耶穌而來嘅永生。

同一時間，自己喺家庭生活之外，亦有屬於自己嘅空間。今週同幾位爸爸朋友打網球，Joshua 一齊參與，感受到運動不單止係健康，更加係建立親子情感同朋友連結嘅好方式。作為父親，我覺得呢啲時刻好珍貴，睇住仔女融入群體活動，自己亦能成為其中一份子，心中充滿感恩。

求職方面，AA 聯絡咗我安排面試，標誌住我嘅求職歷程邁進下一步。收到邀請本身已經係鼓勵，令我更專注於準備。

整體而言，這一週充滿家庭的喜樂同信仰的盼望，再加上求職上的小進展。回顧落嚟，家庭同行與信仰傳承係最大感恩；而在求職過程中，我正學習如何更成熟、自信咁展現自己。

📌 Week 1: August 6 – August 10
The most significant event this week was my parents-in-law finishing their visit to the UK and flying back to Hong Kong on August 10. Their stay, though not long, was very fulfilling. Although our plan to visit France or other European destinations didn’t work out, travelling together with the children to Cambridge, Oxford, and nearby places gave them deep satisfaction. The children were especially happy having their grandparents with them, creating many unforgettable memories. As parents, I hope that next time they return, they will witness the children’s healthy and joyful growth—and more profoundly, I pray that they will one day put their trust in Jesus and receive eternal life from Him.

At the same time, beyond family life, I also enjoyed some personal space. This week, I played tennis with a few dad friends, and Joshua joined in. It reminded me that sports are not just about fitness but also about bonding with children and strengthening friendships. As a father, I treasure these moments—seeing my kids engage in group activities while I too can be part of it fills my heart with gratitude.

On the job search front, The AA contacted me to arrange an interview, marking the next step in my career journey. Receiving the invitation itself was already an encouragement, helping me focus more on preparation.

Overall, this week was filled with family joy and faith-driven hope, along with small progress in my job search. Looking back, I am most thankful for family companionship and faith heritage. In the job process, I am learning to present myself with greater maturity and confidence.

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📌 第2週：8月11日 – 8月17日

呢個星期的焦點落喺家庭、求職同事奉。小朋友正式開始參與網球訓練。星期五傍晚，Amber 仲特別陪我同其他爸爸一齊打波。見到佢投入運動嘅笑容，感受到佢成長中嘅新一面。作為父母，我相信運動唔單止鍛鍊體魄，更係培養性格同自律嘅重要元素。Amber 在群體中表現嘅開朗，亦令我心裡非常欣慰。

求職方面，AA 面試並唔算順利，過程中覺得自己緊張同埋表現麻麻，英文講到甩甩咳咳。但另一邊廂，Amex 嘅機會正式展開。我同 Amex 嘅 hiring manager 通過電話，了解到佢哋對Candidate嘅要求，亦清楚自己需要加強嘅地方。為咗準備好 Amex 面試，我持續用 STAR 框架整理過往項目經歷，反思每個例子入面自己發揮嘅角色同影響。

事奉方面，PowerPoint 團隊繼續穩定服侍，但我心裡開始意識到需要更加系統化。安排咗個分享會，讓Alice同Fanny分享他們整靚個PowerPoint嘅技巧，其他弟兄姊妹都學到新嘅嘢，提升我哋嘅服侍果效。

呢一週俾我深刻嘅體會係：領導力唔係自己表現得幾好，而係點樣善用團隊資源，結合唔同嘅恩賜。見到孩子的成長、同弟兄姊妹的互補，提醒我領導力的核心係「成全別人」。

📌 Week 2: August 11 – August 17
This week’s focus was on family, job search, and service. The children officially started tennis training, and on Friday evening Amber even joined me and the other dads to play. Seeing her cheerful smile while enjoying sports showed me a new side of her growth. As parents, we believe sports not only strengthen the body but also build character and discipline. Amber’s lively spirit in the group brought me great joy.

On the job side, my AA interview did not go too smoothly. I felt nervous and stumbled through my English responses. On the other hand, the opportunity with Amex began to unfold. I had a call with the hiring manager, which gave me clarity on what they expect from candidates and helped me see areas I need to strengthen. To prepare, I kept using the STAR framework to organize my past project experiences, reflecting on my role and impact in each case.

In church service, the PowerPoint team continued serving steadily, but I began to realize the need for a more systematic approach. I arranged a sharing session where Alice and Fanny demonstrated their techniques for beautifying slides. Everyone learned something new, which improved our effectiveness as a team.

This week taught me a deep lesson: leadership is not about how well I perform personally, but about how I make use of the team’s resources and combine different gifts. Seeing my children’s growth and the way brothers and sisters complement each other reminded me that true leadership is about “equipping others.”

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📌 第3週：8月18日 – 8月24日

第三週帶有挑戰同鼓勵。

家庭方面，今週有機會同太太同小朋友一齊打網球。雖然落雨縮短咗時間，但大家喺球場嘅互動充滿笑聲。特別係見到小朋友越嚟越投入運動，心裡覺得好感動。這種簡單卻實在的幸福，提醒我家庭時光的珍貴。

人際方面，8月24日有一個特別嘅聚會。Joanna、Eric 同 Eva、Simon 一齊嚟 Woking。Eva 同 Simon 本身同香港和景堂有淵源，亦同崔傳道熟絡。聚會中我哋傾咗好多，包括我搵工嘅歷程，Eva 同 Simon 分享佢哋喺英國事業嘅高低起伏，如何靠神的恩典重新開始，最終成為 education consultant。佢哋嘅見證深深鼓勵我，尤其係 Eva 提醒我要有更多自信。正好，因為Amex面試延期，我有額外時間準備，而佢嘅鼓勵喺 timing 上完全配合，令我再次體會到神的時間表永遠啱啱好。

呢一週俾我嘅反思係：等待唔一定係壞事，有時正正係神為咗讓我更預備好。透過家庭陪伴同朋友鼓勵，我學識咗更深嘅交託，亦確認自己係一段被神帶領嘅旅程。

📌 Week 3: August 18 – August 24
The third week brought both challenges and encouragement.

In family life, I got to play tennis with my wife and kids. Although rain cut our session short, the laughter we shared on the court was priceless. Seeing the children become more engaged in sports touched me deeply. These simple yet real moments of happiness reminded me of the value of family time.

On August 24, we had a special gathering with Joanna and Eric, and with Eva and Simon, who visited us in Woking. Eva and Simon had ties to Hop Yat Church in Hong Kong and were also close to Pastor Tsui. During our time together, we shared about my job search journey, and they shared how their career paths in the UK had ups and downs, but by God’s grace they restarted and eventually became education consultants. Their testimony encouraged me greatly. Eva in particular reminded me to be more confident. Just at that moment, my Amex interview was postponed, giving me more preparation time—her encouragement came at the perfect time, showing me again that God’s timetable is always just right.

My reflection this week: waiting is not always a bad thing. Sometimes it is God’s way of helping me be better prepared. Through family companionship and friends’ encouragement, I learned deeper trust and confirmed that this is truly a journey led by God.

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📌 第4週：8月25日 – 8月31日

呢個星期係求職、家庭、義工同教會嘅大混合，充滿挑戰同恩典。

求職準備方面，Amex technical interview 因為我病病地而延期咗一個禮拜。最初心裡有壓力，驚影響咗對方印象，但反過來，延期亦俾咗我寶貴嘅時間去準備。呢幾日我密集式練習，尤其係用 Webex 錄影自己嘅表達，不斷調整聲線、笑容同表情。雖然過程有啲尷尬，但逐步建立自信，意識到 public speaking 同專業表達，係長遠必須面對同改善嘅能力。呢次經歷鞏固咗我參加 Toastmasters 嘅決心，期望透過更多實戰去操練自己。繼續透過錄影自己嘅表達去改善聲線同肢體語言。慢慢發現，表達唔單止係答問題，而係展現自信與成熟。

Amex technical interview 嘅問題係我試過最難嘅一類。面試官唔單止問 scenario，仲會一路追問 follow-up，要求我即場深入分析。呢個過程非常考腦力同反應，幾乎冇空間喘息。不過感恩最終能夠應付到，並且順利通過。呢個經歷令我意識到，自己唔單止要有技術知識，更加要有邏輯思維同領導判斷力，先可以應付呢啲挑戰。

家庭方面，與五個家庭一齊去 MK 聚會。因為落雨，戶外活動取消，但大家轉去室內打保齡，小朋友去彈床，最後再一齊食飯。雖然活動有變動，但相聚嘅氣氛依然熱烈。特別係諗返十幾年前大家喺香港教會小組一齊成長，今日喺英國仍然可以一齊見證小朋友長大，真係感受到神的恩典。呢種跨越地域與時間嘅同行，係屬靈家庭最美麗嘅地方。

義工方面，因為 CEO Mark 嚟緊會放假，我要獨自跟進 community groups 嘅需要同埋做Impact Assessment嘅interview。呢個係一個跳出舒適區嘅挑戰，因為要主動處理項目、翻查舊 email 同文件。雖然壓力唔細，但亦係一個學習領導與承擔嘅好機會。10月初 Mark 會安排一個 governance workshop 比一個community group，又係學習嘅好機會。

教會方面，8月31日我擔任崇拜領會。坦白講，當時非常緊張。之後翻睇錄影，發現仲有好多地方要改善，例如讀經有錯字、表達唔夠流暢。不過，呢個經歷提醒我：失誤唔係結局，而係進步的起點。透過 review，我清楚知道下一次應該點樣調整。

呢一週我嘅反思係：挑戰唔一定令人退縮，反而係成長的契機。無論係職場、家庭、義工定教會，神都透過唔同場景去磨練我。最寶貴嘅係，有群體同行同神的帶領，令我唔會孤單。

📌 Week 4: August 25 – August 31
This week was a mix of job search, family, volunteering, and church—full of challenges and grace.

For job preparation, my Amex technical interview was delayed a week because I wasn’t feeling well. At first I worried it might leave a bad impression, but in hindsight the delay gave me valuable time to prepare. I practiced intensively, recording myself on Webex to review my voice, smile, and expressions. Though awkward at first, this practice built confidence and made me realize public speaking and professional communication are skills I must keep improving. This experience confirmed my decision to join Toastmasters for more practice.

The Amex technical interview itself was one of the toughest I’ve faced. The interviewer not only asked scenarios but kept pressing with follow-ups, forcing me to analyze deeply on the spot. It was mentally exhausting, but thankfully I managed to handle it and passed. This showed me that beyond technical knowledge, logical thinking and leadership judgment are essential to succeed.

On the family side, we met with five families in Milton Keynes. Because of rain, outdoor activities were cancelled, but we switched to indoor bowling and trampolines for the kids, finishing with dinner together. Though plans changed, the joy of fellowship remained. Reflecting on how we grew up together in Hong Kong church groups more than a decade ago, and now see our children growing up together in the UK, I felt God’s grace so strongly. This cross-time, cross-place companionship is one of the most beautiful things about a spiritual family.

In volunteering, with CEO Mark on holiday, I had to independently follow up with community groups and conduct impact assessment interviews. It pushed me out of my comfort zone—digging through old emails and documents, taking initiative to handle projects. Though stressful, it was a good opportunity to grow in leadership and responsibility. Mark also arranged a governance workshop in early October for a community group, another valuable chance to learn.

At church, I served as worship leader on August 31. I was very nervous. Reviewing the recording later, I saw many areas for improvement, like reading scripture incorrectly and speaking less smoothly. Yet I was reminded: mistakes are not the end but the beginning of growth. By reviewing, I now know how to improve next time.

My reflection this week: challenges are not setbacks but opportunities to grow. Whether in career, family, volunteering, or church, God uses different contexts to shape me. With community support and God’s guidance, I am never alone.

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📌 第5週：9月1日 – 9月5日

第五週集中喺求職最終階段同家庭生活的點滴。Amex 第三次面試，面試官係喺美國。原本安排喺星期四，最後改到星期五，俾咗我多一日時間準備。呢個細微嘅安排，我覺得係神的恩典，因為正好令我可以再整理思路。面試過程仍然有挑戰，但自己感覺表現尚算穩定。不過，冷靜評估後，我認為錄取機會不足50%。 另外，我舊同事 CM 用 ChatGPT 幫我 generate 面試問題，出嚟嘅角度非常新穎，補充咗我平時未諗到嘅範疇。呢個互補令我明白，準備唔應該單靠自己，而係要善用身邊嘅資源同人脈，咁先至可以準備得更加全面。呢個經歷提醒我，未來喺團隊領導上都要學識欣賞同整合唔同角度，發揮真正嘅 synergy。

同時，Tesco 發出通知，確認 Technical Program Manager 嘅職位已經 fulfilled。雖然幾個星期以來冇消息，心中已有預感，但正式收到消息仍然有啲複雜。一方面覺得終於有交代，另一方面亦難免失落。不過，呢個過程令我明白：有啲門關上，就表示神有其他路預備。

家庭方面，阿仔表現出更多成熟。佢主動提出要早啲瞓，為返學做準備。雖然未必每晚都做到，但有呢個想法，已經顯示佢學識時間管理。佢仲話校服褲太窄，老婆即刻替佢訂新褲，見到佢身心靈都有成長，作為父母感到非常感恩。妹妹則重新開始溜冰課，仲表達想跟私人教練學，希望可以進步得快啲。阿仔學琴方面，仲喺度搵合適老師，心裡盼望唔好錯過黃金時間。

9月5日面試後，我同幾位爸爸帶住女兒一齊打網球。Amber 同 Bell 年紀相近，打得特別開心；嘉儀雖然細個兼有遠視，打波唔算容易，但同我玩馬騮搶波時跑得好開心。平時嘉儀鍾意睇書多過運動，今次因為聖經班同 Amber 熟咗，先肯出嚟。希望佢能夠逐步鍛鍊身體，培養健康成長。

家庭內部，老婆嘗試處理哥哥同妹妹嘅衝突，建立新規則：房間可以互相進入，但要尊重對方嘅 privacy，可以要求對方離開。雖然未知道實際效果，但見到老婆開始建立權威，主動協調需要，係一個成長的表現。

教會方面，新弟兄 Tony 加入服侍。我一次過 send 咗好多資料俾佢，可能資訊量太大，但我希望之後可以推動領會手冊進入正式 review，令團隊更穩定。我喺一月嘅時候用AI建立了一份領會手冊，幫助新領會更快上手。雖然仲只係構思同初稿，但我明白這將會是未來改善團隊嘅重要一步。

呢一週嘅反思係：求職有開有關，提醒我要相信神的時間最好；家庭成員逐步成長，係我最大的感恩；事奉上要學識落實同推動，而唔係只停留喺初稿。

📌 Week 5: September 1 – September 5
This week centered on the final stage of job searching and small moments in family life.

I had my third Amex interview, this time with a US-based interviewer. It was originally scheduled for Thursday but moved to Friday, giving me one more day to prepare. I saw this small detail as God’s grace. The interview was still challenging, but I felt relatively stable. Looking back objectively, my chance of being hired is less than 50%. Interestingly, my former colleague CM used ChatGPT to generate interview questions for me, and the angles were refreshing, covering areas I hadn’t thought about. This reminded me that preparation shouldn’t rely only on myself but also on making good use of resources and networks around me. In the future, as a leader, I must also learn to appreciate and integrate different perspectives to create real synergy.

At the same time, Tesco officially confirmed their Technical Program Manager role had been filled. Although weeks of silence had already prepared me for this, the formal notice still brought mixed feelings—relief for closure, but also disappointment. Yet I realized when some doors close, it means God has prepared another path ahead.

In family life, my son showed more maturity by suggesting he should sleep earlier to prepare for school. Though not consistent every night, the intention itself showed he was learning time management. He also mentioned his school trousers were too tight, and my wife immediately ordered new ones. Seeing his growth physically, emotionally, and spiritually filled us with gratitude. My daughter restarted skating lessons and even asked for a private coach to progress faster. For piano lessons, my son is still looking for the right teacher—we hope not to miss the golden window.

After my September 5 interview, I joined some dads to play tennis with our daughters. Amber and Bell, being close in age, played happily together. Kayi, though younger and with farsightedness, found tennis harder but had great fun playing “monkey chase” with me. Normally she prefers reading to sports, but thanks to her Bible class friendship with Amber, she was willing to join this time. I hope this gradually builds her physical strength and healthy habits.

At home, my wife worked on handling sibling conflicts by introducing new rules: they can enter each other’s rooms but must respect privacy, and can ask the other to leave. The effectiveness remains to be seen, but I appreciated her growing authority and initiative in managing family needs.

In church, a new brother Tony joined the service team. I shared lots of materials with him at once—perhaps too much—but I hope this will lead to pushing the worship leading handbook into formal review, making our team more stable. Back in January, I drafted an initial handbook using AI to help new leaders adapt more quickly. Though still only a draft, I believe it will be an important step for the future of our team.

My reflection this week: in job search, some doors close and others open—reminding me to trust God’s timing; in family, children’s gradual growth is my greatest thanksgiving; and in service, I need to learn to implement and drive progress, not just stop at first drafts.

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✨ 總結

四個禮拜經歷咗好多層面：

• 求職：Amex 步步挑戰，Tesco 畫上句號。

• 家庭：孩子成熟、活動豐富、外父外母探訪。

• 事奉：新同工加入、義工挑戰。

• 人際：舊同事、新朋友、屬靈前輩鼓勵。

✨ Summary
Across five weeks, I experienced many dimensions of life:

• Job search: Step-by-step challenges with Amex; Tesco came to a close.

• Family: Children’s growth, joyful activities, parents-in-law’s visit.

• Service: New coworkers joining, volunteer responsibilities.

• Relationships: Encouragement from old colleagues, new friends, and spiritual mentors.

(Prepared by AI on 6 Sep. Chinese version has been edited by Jeff Ng. English version has not been reviewed as of 9 Sep 2025.)